Birth Archives - KeepMovingForwardWithMe

The Sacred Gift of Childbirth – Book Review

Taralyn — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 05:46:41 +0000

Soon after the birth of my first child, my friend Marie-Ange showed up on my doorstep with her arms full of diapers and gripe water. Even more importantly, she came with the words of encouragement that I so desperately needed after a traumatic birth. I had been in and out of the hospital for weeks leading up to Lily’s birth culminating with pre-eclampsia and a third degree tear. Exhaustion had settled in and I wondered if I really was cut out for this motherhood gig.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but that conversation with Marie-Ange was my first step on the path to healing. After a miscarriage and a harrowing hospital experience, I needed to know that birth could be something better, something empowering and sacred. I started following Marie-Ange’s blog where she shared birth stories and her experiences as a doula.

What stood out to me the most was the tone of the birth stories on her blog (and this definitely carries over into her recently released book, The Sacred Gift of Childbirth: Empowered Choices for You and Your Baby).

While Marie-Ange is well-versed on the technical aspects of childbirth, her gift lies in combining facts with faith in an empowering manner that every couple needs to hear for themselves. Bridging the societal and traditional gulfs of what we are told to do, what we would like to do, and what we are innately born to do, Marie-Ange clearly guides the reader on her path to a sacred birth facilitated by inspired choices. Reading her book is like having all of the individual child-birth conversations I had with Marie and her twin-sister tied up with a bow in chapters I can reread whenever I need them. I hope that you will feel as if you are learning from a trusted friend as you read as well.

Doesn’t that sound wonderful to you? My own journey to an empowered birth seemed like a long one. You can read more about it here. I wish that I had a book like Marie-Ange’s available to me when I had my first baby. It’s a game changer and it perfectly combines the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual aspects of childbirth. When I read the book, it was like connecting the dots of everything I had learned over my three births. That knowledge is priceless for moving forward.

One feature of the book that I love is the worksheet that follows each chapter. It is an invitation to dig deeper and really apply what you have learned and felt. Another valuable feature is the real-life anecdotes in each chapter drawn from Marie-Ange’s own experiences as well as others. This is a woman who has experiences the highs and lows of birth and every plateau in between. Her relateability is refreshing and needed in childbirth circles.

Equally important is her Husband’s Guide chapter. A must-read for Dad’s to be. I know my husband was just as traumatized, if not more so, than I was during our difficult birth experiences. I can see how reading this book as a couple would help to ease some of those birth fears. Having a doula who supported and encouraged my husband as well made all the difference in my last birth.

I would love to place this book in the hands of every expecting mother and give her a glimpse of what could be. Even in high-risk circumstances, we can make inspired choices and empower ourselves as we bring these beautiful babies into the world. Whether you are a first-time mom or a mom of six, there is so much to be gained from reading this book.

What book influenced you the most while preparing for childbirth?

What childbirth tips were most helpful for you?

I am so grateful that Cedar Fort Publishing provided me with Marie-Ange’s book to review. Thank you!

The post The Sacred Gift of Childbirth – Book Review appeared first on KeepMovingForwardWithMe.

Part 3 – Kyler’s Birth

Taralyn — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 04:26:00 +0000

Part 3 – The Birth
On the morning of September 22nd, I went in for my appointment at 9 am. I completed the non-stress test and the baby was slightly less active than usual. My blood pressure was also getting higher. I was dilated to almost a four. My doctor asked me when he could deliver the baby and – for the first time – that day felt right. My only hesitation was that the baby was posterior. The doctor said that he could easily flip him with forceps, but only if I had an epidural.

I left my appointment and called all those who would be at the hospital. Johnny and I quickly got some lunch, drove home to pick up my birth bag, and dropped the children off at their cousin’s home. We checked into hospital room 122 around 12:30 pm. They took my blood pressure and started to hook me up to the monitors.

I warned them that I had small veins and that typically a phlebotomist had to place my IV. The first nurse laughed and insisted she could get my vein. After three tries, she was luckily called away to a different labor. By the time my permanent nurse, Jill, attempted the IV, my doulas Rebecca and Marianne had arrived.

I was so happy to see them! Rebecca got out her essential oils and immediately I felt calmer. The nurse was able to get the IV into my arm after her third try with the help of a warming pad. I was so glad that it wasn’t in my hands! When Rebecca and Marianne arrived, the tone of the birth changed. Before when the nurse was trying to place my IV, I was beginning to feel anxious as I had flashbacks to all that had gone wrong with my first labor. Just having Rebecca hold my hand and massage me with essential oils while the nurse placed the IV made me feel so much calmer.

I had been contracting all morning so when the pitocin started, the contractions demanded my attention pretty quickly. As Jill reviewed the hospital policies and paperwork with me, I could feel the pitocin kicking in and started deeply breathing through the contractions. Rebecca and Marianne left to grab a quick lunch. As soon as the paperwork was done, I asked to stand up so that I could rock through contractions. Jill was awesome and got me a tube top cloth to wear under my hospital gown so that the monitors would stay in place and I could concentrate on the contractions.

I decided to lean over and hang onto a chair while I was swaying to help the baby change from his posterior position as per Rebecca’s suggestion. At this point, I was still chatty and excited. I enjoyed talking with my mom while my husband worked out insurance in the hallway. We laughed and I envisioned my little guy getting ready to make his descent.

The doctor came in a little later and checked me to find I was dilated to a five. He asked if he could break my water, but I wasn’t quite ready for that. I wanted to give my baby as much time as possible to switch positions. Johnny texted Rebecca to let her know that I was progressing.

When the doulas returned, I decided to sit on the birthing ball and rock back and forth. I listened to my hypnobirthing tracks as well. Rebecca and Marianne massaged my head and back as well as the trigger points on my ankles. At this point I was so relaxed and felt completely in tune with my body. It felt like the honeymoon stage of labor. I was almost concerned that my contractions had stopped because I wasn’t feeling them as intensely.

The doctor checked me an hour later and I was at a six.

Soon the contractions picked up and began to get intense. Rebecca counted to thirty for me during them which helped me to realize that they weren’t going to last forever. During the contractions, Marianne applied pressure to my arms, sides, and back which helped immensely. This is when my labor began to get noisy! But it really helped to make the low moaning noise and keep my jaw relaxed.

“Muscles send messages to each other. Clenched fists, a
tight mouth, a furrowed brow, all send signals to the birth-passage muscles,
the very ones that need to be loosened. Opening up to relax these upper-body
parts relaxes the lower ones.” ~William and Martha Sears

After awhile, I decided to stand up and I swayed with Rebecca during contractions. I only did this a few times before I felt like I needed to use the restroom. This should have been my signal that I was transitioning because that is how it happened with Lily! I went into the restroom and the contractions really picked up. When I came back out is when labor really began to get intense. Suddenly I felt very, very, uncomfortable and couldn’t decided if I wanted to rock, sway, or lay on the bed. I felt my mind go into panic mood and suddenly all I could think about was escaping the pain.

I got on the bed and Jill checked me to find that I was at a ten and fully effaced. My water also broke at this time. I can’t describe the feeling only that it was incredibly intense and that I was losing my focus. I was at the point of tears and begging for an epidural. Definitely the strongest I have ever felt the fight or flight instinct. When I shouted, “I CAN’T do this,” I remember Rebecca saying, “You ARE doing this!” That was a turning point for me. She didn’t tell me that I COULD do it, she told me that I WAS doing it and that was so empowering.

“Your biggest challenge isn’t someone else.
It’s the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs,
and the voice inside you that yells ‘CAN’T’, but you don’t listen.
You just push harder!
And then you hear the voice whisper ‘CAN’.
And you discover that
the person you thought you were is no match for the one you REALLY ARE.”

Rebecca told me to talk to my baby. I regained a small amount of focus as I began whispering to my baby with my husband holding one hand and Rebecca holding the other …

“The moment you think of giving up … think of the reason you held on so long.”

The doctor, nurses, and baby team were rushing about the room preparing for the birth. Someone asked me to guess how many pushes it would be until I had my baby. I shouted out “TWO,” to which a nurse responded … “let’s make that ten. The doctor needs to get ready!” But my body knew what it wanted and I could not stop it even if I tried. With one instinctual push, my baby was out and I felt a rush of relief and excitement. The doctor barely had time to pull his gloves up to his elbows and catch the baby.

It was exhilarating. I felt like I had done the impossible. My legs were shaking, but the after pain was nowhere near what it had been with my other births – even with the epidurals. In moments, my babe was laying on my chest as the doctor stitched up a tear. Any pain I had felt disappeared as I held this sweet little soul to my chest.

“I know the pain I am feeling is only physical. I know it will not last.
I know that it will all vanish the moment you are in my arms.
I know that as I count your toes…
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…
with each number my memories of discomfort, lack of sleep, aches and pains
will all fade away into a distant memory.
I will only feel the ecstasy of birthing you…of giving you life.” ~Mrs. BWF

The adrenaline rush that came after the birth was incredible. Kyler was born at 4:46 pm and the rest of the evening and into the night, I could not sleep. I could not believe that I was able to have the natural birth that I had wanted after almost five weeks on bed rest. It was amazing to be that I was able to keep my little one growing inside me a week longer than I had with my children when we had been concerned about me even making it to 36 weeks.

It was wonderful at the hospital to be able to feel fully present. That night I walked my baby to the nursery and was part of giving him his first bath, something I never got to be a part of with my other children. That moment alone was precious to me. I loved being up and out of bed and changing his little diapers.

Kyler’s birth reinitiated me into motherhood and has given me a completely different perspective. I am SO GRATEFUL to my incredible doulas, my family, and my doctor. For my next child, I will definitely be getting a doula again!

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop and look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

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Kyler’s Birth Story Part 1 – Why I decided to go natural

Taralyn — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 16:54:00 +0000

When I started writing Kyler’s birth story, I realized that a lot of the emotions I felt were tied into my other pregnancies as well so I wrote everything down. The complete story is so that I have a record of my journey toward choosing a natural birth. If you just want Kyler’s birth story skip to Part 3. I benefited from reading other’s natural birth stories online so I thought that I would share mine as well.

Let me preface this by saying that I am DEEPLY GRATEFUL for each one of my children, no matter how they got here. I know that I am so lucky to be their mother and that they are worth every second of pregnancy and labor/delivery. I have learned positive things from each of my pregnancies. I am grateful for technology, doctors, nurses, and doulas for their help in my journey!

I’ve been pondering the idea of a natural birth for a few years. At my very first pregnancy’s prenatal appointment, I picked up hypnobirthing literature and was intrigued. My husband and I were devastated when our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 11 weeks. After a night of contractions and hemorrhaging I ended up in the Emergency Room where my then doctor performed an emergency D&C with me still awake and propped up on a bed pan. The experience left me fearful of the pain and what could happen during a pregnancy.

We were thrilled to quickly get pregnant with our daughter Lily soon after and had a fairly easy pregnancy until about 35 weeks. I went into the hospital several times with contractions or thinking my water had broken. After several of these visits, at 37 weeks my blood pressure began creeping up and by 38 weeks I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. My new doctor induced me at 38.5 weeks and while I was happy to walk away healthy and with a healthy sweet babe, the labor was less than ideal.

I was admitted to the hospital in the afternoon, but the induction didn’t start until midnight. The nurses tried repeatedly to place an IV and failed until finally they had the anesthesiologist come and place it. By the next morning I hadn’t gotten much sleep and I was exhausted. I drifted off briefly after I got the epidural, but woke up when the nurse said the baby’s heart rate wasn’t doing what they wanted it to do and I might need an emergency c-section. Luckily, the baby’s heart rate returned to normal and it was soon time to push.

At this point my epidural had worn off almost completely. I felt intense pain and felt the need to push, but the nurse said that I needed to wait 45 minutes for the doctor who was in a c-section. When the doctor arrived, I pushed for almost two hours ineffectively with the nurse telling me I was doing it wrong. My sweet Lily finally came after I agreed to let the doctor use forceps and I ended up with a tear up to my uterus.

When she was born I felt utterly defeated. It hurt more after than it did before. I was exhausted and begged for more pain medication. Because of the magnesium, Lily had some breathing problems and had to spend two hours in the nursery before I could spend much time with her. All in all, it wasn’t the experience I had hoped for, but I was deeply grateful for my sweet baby girl.

When we got pregnant with Cortland, I knew that I wanted a different birth. It was my goal to be better prepared should my epidural not work again. I borrowed Hypnobirthing CDs and books from my sister and booked prenatal massages for myself. I met Rebecca Overson, owner of Salt Lake Prenatal Massage, and was encouraged by her natural birthing perspective. At my last prenatal massage, she sent me home with massage tips for my husband to use during labor.

My blood pressure rose again at 38 weeks and I was induced with Cortland a few days later. The doctor gave me a choice of doing NSTs and monitoring my blood pressure or being induced before it developed into pre-eclampsia. Worried about having a repeat birth experience, I choose to be induced. All of our family was out of town so it was just Johnny and I during my labor and delivery. I listened to my hypnobirthing tracks and labored as long as I could on my own. I got the epidural after I dilated to a 6 and Cortland was born just a few hours later with no complications. I was elated that I didn’t have to be on magnesium and that I didn’t tear, but I still felt like something was missing.

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