Ten Dates That Save My Marriage

Honest confession. My husband and I were fantastic about date night UNTIL we had kids. Date night began to feel like a luxury when we added in the babysitting bill. We cut corners in the date night department and, let’s face it, our relationship suffered. When we did finally get a night out – it fell into one of three categories – a wedding, a business event, or the classic dinner + movie.  Not exactly thrilling!

This year we’re trying something new. We’ve brainstormed ten different types of date nights that we feel are beneficial and darn right needed for our relationship.  As we approach the new year, we are calendaring all the different dates in so each part of our relationship receives the attention that it needs! So grab a calendar and start penciling your own date nights in – I promise it will be worth it!

The Just Because Date – These are mini dates not tied to any holiday or special case. Basically just short and sweet ways to say I Love You throughout the day. It may be a quick walk around the block holding hands or my personal favorite – a delivery of chocolate covered strawberries and pumpkin cheesecake squares! Don’t they look scrumptious! My child were swarming as I took pictures, but I was able to save (almost) all of them for a mid-day break for my husband and I.

I had these delivered to our doorstep from Shari’s Berries and it definitely made for a #SweetestDay! They came perfectly packaged and ready to eat with my sweetheart! I think we need to try their caramel apples next! Little surprises like this help to keep our relationship fun!

2. The Weekend Getaway Date – I just finished reading Balancing It All by Candace Cameron Bure (Full House) and the chapter on marriage really resonated me. Candace mentioned that she and her husband had different dating styles. He prefers weekends away while she’s fine with a night out together. They take the best of both worlds and make sure that they do both kinds!

In our ten years of marriage, we’ve only had a handful of weekend getaways, but they’ve been oh so worth it! The chance to reconnect uninterrupted is priceless!  The year that Lily was born and John and I were both in school/working full-time was especially stressful. My sister took Lily over night and we jetted to the Anniversary Inn in Salt Lake. After a full-night sleep and breakfast in bed, we felt much more like a couple and less like students/parents/employees!

3. The Couples Dates and Getaways – This next kind of date is similar to the last, but with an added element of fun! We love getting away with good groups of friends! We have a group of friends from college that travels together for a weekend every other year.  Each couple takes a turn hosting in their home town. We’ve been to Seattle, North Carolina, and Texas so far.

This year we headed down to St. George for some fun in the sun. We rented this home off of VRBO and it was perfect for us! It’s fantastic being able to visit our friends’ in their hometowns and getting tours/tips from a local!

We’ve also hosted several murder mystery dinner dates at our home that have been a blast!

4. At-Home Dates – Let’s face it – sometimes it is hard or nigh to impossible to get out of the house. As fantastic as the weekend getaways are, sometimes you have to make due at home! That’s when it is time to bring date night in! I’m not just talking Netflix after the kids are in bed! Years ago, I found a site that is chock-full of date ideas – The Dating Divas. Just what I need! They do so much of the work for you – including coming up with cute printables!

Can you keep a secret? This year I’m getting John the Year of Dates binder for Christmas  It is 12 digital date night kits for just $2.97. Now, I’ve done similar date kits before and we’ve had a blast! The kit is digital, you just print it off and put it in a 3 Ring Binder with Sheet Protectors and you are good to go!

On a budget? The Dating Divas have plenty of free ideas as well!

5. The Parenting Date – It’s important to me that we are on the same page as parents, but talking about the kids tends to overtake our dates. Our solution – plan a date that is all about the kids!

We choose a nice sit down restaurant and get cozy to discuss how our children are doing. We talk about each of them and how they are doing mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and overall. We bring up specific thing we need to work on with them as well as things that we have seen them doing well.

One of the biggest game changers for us is writing our observations/goals for them down in a notebook. That way we can revisit our prior conversations on our next parenting date. I first heard this fantastic idea at a Power of Moms Retreat and I’ve loved it ever since!

6. The Educational Date – Part of the excitement of dating is doing something or learning about something new together. My husband and I recently attended the Uplift Families Parenting Conference together with some of our couple friends. Dinner, dessert, parenting tips, and entertainment! We heard from Matt Townsend – he was absolutely hilarious!

Another educational date that I have on my agenda is a cooking class! Leave me a comment with your favorite cooking classes in Utah so I can check them out!

7. The Recharge Date – Whatever religion you belong to, it’s nice to be able to get out together as a couple and recharge spiritually. For some that’s a hike in the mountains or serving in a soup kitchen together. Whatever it takes for you to feel more connected!

We are LDS so it is important to us that we continue to grow together on a spiritual level as well. We love going to the newly built Payson Temple. 

8. The Active Date – Sometimes you just need to get out and DO SOMETHING! One of my favorite dates was back in 2010 when I surprised John with a 3-hour ropes course and canoe outing. From rock climbing to the ropes course, we had an absolute blast doing something that wasn’t our typical date! Living in Utah, there are so many hikes, trails, and outdoor activities to enjoy. Not to mention all of the fun, active indoor activities!

We bought a Pass of All Passes off of Groupon that has come in handy for date night as well! We are totally planning date nights for Seven Peaks next year. Plus a game of mini golf or a play at Scera Shell are fun, too! Some other fun Groupons we have gotten include discounts to Sweet Tooth Fairy, Get Air Hang TIme, and Penny’s Cafe.

9. The Cheap Date – This segways into an important date in our family! The cheap date! Sites like Groupon and The Dating Divas are lifesavers for us. We are on a budget, but we don’t want to cut all the fun out! Here’s a few places we have found good deals!

Funsavers is another fun site where we have found great date night and family night deals! From hotels to spas – always check Funsavers first to see if you can get a discount. Here are some of their current deals:

10. The Written Date. One of my favorite parts of our courtship was our e-mails back and forth to each other. I worked from 8 am to 12 pm and John worked from 2 pm to 10 pm.  Depending on the day we also both had classes. This left quick lunch dates and Saturday dates. In between, we sent each other e-mails. We talked about his mission, my time at BYU-Idaho, and everything in between. I am much more at ease writing so this was perfect for me. Then when we did get together, conversation flowed easily because we’d already expressed so much in e-mails.

Thinking back on how fun this was, I am recommitting to the written date! With texts and e-mails – this is much easier now days. With our busy schedules, long conversations aren’t always the norm. E-mails on lunch breaks can lead to much deeper conversations when there is more time!

11. The Special Occasion Date.  Birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines – all of these deserve a little extra attention. This year my husband surprised me by coming home from work early with flowers. He also made me the most delicious Missouri mudcake!

Our anniversary is in December so I am thinking it will be fun to do this Christmas Countdown by The Dating Divas! It’s included in a bundle with ways to spoil your spouse all year long.  I am so excited to all of it thought out for me so that I can quickly personalize it to make it special for us!

Just typing up this post has got me so excited for our upcoming date nights! Whether you organize a babysitting swap with friends or you are planning more date nights in – I hope that you can find more time to spend together as a couple, too!

What are your favorite dates?

How often do you date your spouse?

I received a fall gift package from Shari’s Berries to review for this post. This post contains affiliate links for products that I love and believe in!