When I started writing Kyler’s birth story, I realized that a lot of the emotions I felt were tied into my other pregnancies as well so I wrote everything down. The complete story is so that I have a record of my journey toward choosing a natural birth. If you just want Kyler’s birth story skip to Part 3. I benefited from reading other’s natural birth stories online so I thought that I would share mine as well.
Let me preface this by saying that I am DEEPLY GRATEFUL for each one of my children, no matter how they got here. I know that I am so lucky to be their mother and that they are worth every second of pregnancy and labor/delivery. I have learned positive things from each of my pregnancies. I am grateful for technology, doctors, nurses, and doulas for their help in my journey!
I’ve been pondering the idea of a natural birth for a few years. At my very first pregnancy’s prenatal appointment, I picked up hypnobirthing literature and was intrigued. My husband and I were devastated when our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 11 weeks. After a night of contractions and hemorrhaging I ended up in the Emergency Room where my then doctor performed an emergency D&C with me still awake and propped up on a bed pan. The experience left me fearful of the pain and what could happen during a pregnancy.
We were thrilled to quickly get pregnant with our daughter Lily soon after and had a fairly easy pregnancy until about 35 weeks. I went into the hospital several times with contractions or thinking my water had broken. After several of these visits, at 37 weeks my blood pressure began creeping up and by 38 weeks I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. My new doctor induced me at 38.5 weeks and while I was happy to walk away healthy and with a healthy sweet babe, the labor was less than ideal.
I was admitted to the hospital in the afternoon, but the induction didn’t start until midnight. The nurses tried repeatedly to place an IV and failed until finally they had the anesthesiologist come and place it. By the next morning I hadn’t gotten much sleep and I was exhausted. I drifted off briefly after I got the epidural, but woke up when the nurse said the baby’s heart rate wasn’t doing what they wanted it to do and I might need an emergency c-section. Luckily, the baby’s heart rate returned to normal and it was soon time to push.
At this point my epidural had worn off almost completely. I felt intense pain and felt the need to push, but the nurse said that I needed to wait 45 minutes for the doctor who was in a c-section. When the doctor arrived, I pushed for almost two hours ineffectively with the nurse telling me I was doing it wrong. My sweet Lily finally came after I agreed to let the doctor use forceps and I ended up with a tear up to my uterus.
When she was born I felt utterly defeated. It hurt more after than it did before. I was exhausted and begged for more pain medication. Because of the magnesium, Lily had some breathing problems and had to spend two hours in the nursery before I could spend much time with her. All in all, it wasn’t the experience I had hoped for, but I was deeply grateful for my sweet baby girl.
When we got pregnant with Cortland, I knew that I wanted a different birth. It was my goal to be better prepared should my epidural not work again. I borrowed Hypnobirthing CDs and books from my sister and booked prenatal massages for myself. I met Rebecca Overson, owner of Salt Lake Prenatal Massage, and was encouraged by her natural birthing perspective. At my last prenatal massage, she sent me home with massage tips for my husband to use during labor.
My blood pressure rose again at 38 weeks and I was induced with Cortland a few days later. The doctor gave me a choice of doing NSTs and monitoring my blood pressure or being induced before it developed into pre-eclampsia. Worried about having a repeat birth experience, I choose to be induced. All of our family was out of town so it was just Johnny and I during my labor and delivery. I listened to my hypnobirthing tracks and labored as long as I could on my own. I got the epidural after I dilated to a 6 and Cortland was born just a few hours later with no complications. I was elated that I didn’t have to be on magnesium and that I didn’t tear, but I still felt like something was missing.
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